The power of four...

Obviously I just need to have a few more babies and we can be laughing all the time!

Let's do the Limbo!

My whole family is in limbo this week. I can't really say what will be happening at any point, where my husband will work, will he have a job, will I have to try to find one? CAN I find one? Will it be enough to make a difference after child care cost? What will it take to make it worthwhile to leave my children with someone else on a regular basis? How will I like living with my mother in law? How hard will I cry when I have to leave the house we are in? How will my husband cope if we can't pay rent? When will I feel like knitting again?

The current answer to all of these questions is I don't know. Sigh. I wish I knew.

I am finding myself immobilized, staring at a screen, or just holding my knitting (which is supposed to be finished soon and making me money...) or hiding in the bathroom reading a book when I don't really need to be sitting there. I have to face up to the fact that I am hiding, and I don't really know from what - the unknown? This is a time when I need to be focused, and I feel lost. I need to pull my head out of my proverbial a** and get moving. My house was clean for a couple of days, and now looks like crap again. If I actually allow myself to see my house I want to cry, and knowing that my husband wants to go back to work instead of look at it is worse.

I need a kick in the ass. But I don't want it to hurt, okay? Maybe I should just get up and go do the dishes.

Calming down...

So I had a bit of a rough patch this afternoon, but after reading a few of my favorite blogs, like that one and this one, and laughing a few of those really good belly laughs, I feel a lot better.

I guess it's true... laughter is the best medicine.. followed by large doses of knitting.

Can't talk right now...

I'm too busy laughing...

A knitting we shall go!

Ahhh... My needles, they over flow...

My camera, it doth not. I need to get a replacement card reader, but instead, imagine two lovely baby sweaters in a smooth as a baby's but organic color grown cotton growing from my needles... Calmness, restored.


P.S. Happy Birthday Jen!

Happy May Birthdays!!

So, looking over my blog this morning I realized that I needed to send out a great big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my family.

So...

To my big brother Scott - HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAN! I am so glad that you have found a good place to be, and have found some happiness in what I know was a long, long, long, few years. I'll call soon - LOVE YOU!

To my little brother and sister - HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Somehow, it is wrong that you two are already 32. I can't be that old yet, so you two DEFINITELY can't. Stop. Right now. Oh, and have fun you two! Love you, and Happy Cinco De Mayo!

To my son, who I already sent a happy Birthday to, but since this is an official post, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRANDON! You are an amazing boy, and I am so proud to be your mother. I love you!

And to my father, who has yet to reach middle age at 68 (next week). HAPPY BIRTHDAY! And many, many more to come. I hope that you and mom can enjoy some peace and quiet for a while.

And to my best friend (a little early)... I love you lady. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I have got to get myself to the east coast sometime before we both go gray... or am I too late already?

Love to everyone on your special days, and know that I'm thinking of you, even if I suck at phone calls.

Ahhh....

The bittersweet joy of victory. My house (most of it) is clean. Half way through a new audiobook I have clean dishes, (mostly) clean floors, laundry that is washed, folded and put away (or in the the process of being washed, folded and put away) and I am keeping the tide of toys at bay for the moment. The joy at having a clean house for my family to come celebrate Brandon's 9th birthday with us was palpable. The bittersweet is that so much of it is never ending. And yet, I have the beginnings of a fantasy about a clean and organized bedroom, and toys that are neatly organized, in bins... well. We'll see how it all works out.

For now, I'm just looking forward to seeing my husband relax in a clean house, and not have to worry about whether he will have clean underwear tomorrow. I once read somewhere that nothing says I love you like clean underwear....